Micawber's angst

 

In itself housekeeping's easy

Buy what's needed ‑ easy peasy.

Cans of beans, electric bills

Household cleaners, headache pills

 

But hold it! There I see some rocks,

Which if you hit can make life suck.

So what's up? There's no way to fudge it

Buying stuff eats up your budget

 

On their own they don't cost much

Domestic items just such and such

But together, reader dear

The effect on you is more than clear.

 

Bit by bit they munch your money

And your life of milk and honey

Becomes more curdled, and quite bitter,

As you become an indebted critter.

 

Loo rolls here and dentist there

Council tax and cutting hair.

On their own none elemental

But together oh! they'll drive you mental.

 

Days go by, but how to cope?

Cut out lighting? Cut out soap?

Cut out eating? Eat the cat?

Become a financial acrobat.

 

Changing brands may start to help

As can a tightening of your belt.

But when all is said and all is done

It's money out 'gainst money in.

 

Mobile 'phone bill soon arrives

More dosh out; no real surprise.

Need shampoo and printer paper,

Leccies due; an escalator.

 

Red bill sounds-out alarm

Seven days to pay, no more charm.

Pay up or else it's not mazel tov

Give us our money or we cut you off.

 

The stress and strain of everyday,

Soon mounts up and starts to play

On your mind and on your psyche,

Repossession seems more likely.

 

It is bad, you are no fool

Debt collection agencies are not cool

"Dear Sir" letters and polite abuse

It's court for you unless you produce.

 

Pay your bills as they occur

Focussed stay and you'll concur

You're on top, you're in charge

But lo! A bill and it is large.

 

The car is broken, it needs mending,

The dog is ill; you need more spending.

Drains get blocked, what a moment

TV blows up; no soap enjoyment

 

Pay for this, pay for that

Keep things balanced, in the black

Once in a while, just occasionally

Send unsigned cheques; is this just me?

 

Why is the path always out?

Where's money in, dosh with clout?

Buy a lotto, more money gone

Buy raffle tickets with hope forlorn.

 

Buy with sense, buy with care

Buy soiled goods but be aware

Use credit cards and you'll soon find

Financial woe of of a different kind.

 

Now you're indebted with the best

Owing cash with interest.

Banks and lenders who specialise

In selling debt and telling lies.

 

Buy interest free! That's just for now.

Don't pay it off and then, Oh wow!

How now does free interest seem?

Your debts increase as if a dream

 

Each month it's there in black and white

You spent one hundred that fateful night.

You've paid off fifty, half way there,

But what is this red writing here?

 

It's interest or APR

It is here your life to mar

Don't pay what it is you owe

Before you know it you'll be well low.

 

As debts they mount and interest rises

Are you ready for more surprises?

Your fifty now is fifty‑four

How did that happen? They've added more.

 

This month because the money’s tight

You umm and err and think you might

Just pay‑off the minimum charge

To help pay off your credit large.

 

A fiver paid sit back and relax

Pay other bills and council tax

Pay for bus pass and your gas bill

This month you've coped, that is until…

 

Your c.c. statement drops on the floor

You've paid them five but they want more.

You still owe over half a ton

Whenever will this bill be done?

 

Another fiver it goes out

Down the pub it is your shout.

Here a twenty, there a tenner

Flee your hands like Ayrton Senna

 

In the end it's all too much

Too much hassle, too much fuss.

Cut that plastic, rip‑up that card

Re‑start your life, it isn't hard.

 

Take some scissors and one deep breath

Kill that plastic; arrange its death,

That is that. It's all over.

Pay your bills, you're back in clover.

 

All that's left once it's gone

Is daily livings comfy song

Rob from Peter to pay Paul

Pay Peter off or not at all.

 

Play the game, adjust the odds

Dodge the bills and worry not

For it's a game of hide and seek

For your sanity to keep

 

At end of day it is so true

Like Micawber's angst so are you

Annual income of one pound

Match your spending and it's profound.

 

Happiness will come to you.

Despite it all your lifestyle's cool.

Spend one pound and a shilling

And you life is not worth living.

 

Too much stress and too much strain

Your lust for life from you will drain

As all your debtors you will hound

Your zest for life from you will bound.