The Rhino is a tricky beast

 

The Rhino is a tricky beast

Drinking water mixed with yeast

Can switch them from a happy mate

Into one frenzied reprobate.

Their ears prick up, they bare their teeth,

You wouldn’t want to come to grief

As they may charge at any time

And woe betide if you’re in line.

My advice to you is stare him down

Hold your stance, don’t move around.

Keep very still, don’t move a muscle

If with him you don’t wish to tussle.

Keep your cool, don’t lose your nerve

But just in case, keep in reserve

A plan to dodge that mighty brute

Avoiding danger most acute.

Jump swiftly to your left or right

Make sure you leap with all your might.

Hold your breath and watch his eyes

His speed to you might well surprise.

Just as he charges you to flatten

Focus on his running pattern

Once you are safe, check your bits

You never know if you’ve been hit.

Now you can boast and tell your mates

You survived in dire straits

A drunken Rhino charged you down,

But you escaped. You’ll be renown.

Post photos on your Instagram

Your fame will rise – it’s no flimflam.

When people ask how was your hol?

You can answer far from dull

And tell your story of the Rhino

And how you went toe to toe

To your chums you can regale 

Your very own heroic tale.